Get a girl

Every so often I get someone asking me this question: How do you find a woman? Firstly, I must say that this is a bit vague so I’ll rephrase the question into two questions and answer both. Hopefully you guys will find it helpful.

  1. How do you find  a woman to sleep with?
  2. How do you find a woman to have a long term relationship with?

A woman to sleep with

Believe it or not, finding a woman to sleep with is relatively easy. It doesn’t matter how you look or what you have, all you need to do is ask. Someone will agree. Now I know some men are only interested in sleeping with women and not that interested in having a serious relationship. For my part, I cannot advocate that at all. Hence I am not going to go into any lengthy explanation of how to accomplish that task. What I do encourage is integrity. If all you want is to sleep with a woman, tell her that. There’s no point in staging some sham promise of ‘marriage’ or whatever guys do to try to convince women who might have actually wanted a long-term prospect. There are plenty of women who aren’t very particular and so it is wrong to misuse women who are interested in ‘giving their hearts’ to men. 

A woman to marry

There are few important things you need to know as a man in order to secure a good long-term mate. I will list them here:

  1. Not every woman who will sleep with you is long-term mate material. Some are really just looking for a fling, don’t confuse the two. Generally, women who take their time before they show overt sexual interest in you and are concerned about whether or not your life is stable are long-term prospects, especially if they express interest in having children and believe fathers are important. Some women want children but see you merely as a donor, avoid them. 
  1. You need to be marketable. Whether you like it or not, it’s a competition. Women typically go for the best offer on the market, and if you’re not it, you’re likely not to find a mate easily. Keep in mind that not every woman is that marketable either, so chances are there will be at least one woman who- in her estimate- cannot do better than you. That means you need to have something to offer. If it’s not wealth- we all know wealthy men get to make their pick of the top most beautiful women, then it should be something else. You could eat well, sleep well, and workout regularly. Aside from wealthy men, good looking men, or men who look like they have their lives in order are also good prospects. 
  1. You need to not care. Now the problem with most guys who can’t get married is that they are usually marriage material. They are guys who are respectful, reserved, hard working and they typically don’t sleep around. If you want to be attractive, the last thing you should worry about is what women think of you. The truth is that women see men who care too much about what women think as weak and as not knowing what he wants in life. Nothing switches women off faster than that. After marriage, this should change. You should care about what your wife thinks because, well, she’s your wife.
  1. You need to have a cause. The most attractive men are those who are doing something they think is valuable with their lives. You need to be focused on your agenda and work out how you want to live your life. A help mate will come along to join you in your life in due time. You really don’t need to be looking out for her, or them (if you want a few women). 
  1. You need to climb the dominance hierarchy in your society. Women love going with a crowd. Women are often a lot more social and sociable than men. Society forms a protection for women, or did it for thousands of years. Hence, because the tribe was what protected women from being raped or having to starve, the higher position you have in the tribe the more attractive you are. We may not all be living in tribal lands, but the basic idea still holds. We haven’t yet evolved beyond that point, even if we think we ought to have. 
  1. You need to have integrity. When a woman, no matter how strong or independent she is, decides to throw her lot in with you she becomes vulnerable. If you don’t have integrity you will give her reason to doubt you and she will not feel safe to be with you. Hence, you need to practice integrity so that she is comfortable and knows where she stands by knowing what your values are. For example, if you want several wives, it’s a good idea to tell any suitable woman you find that that’s a possibility for you.  
  1. You need to be fortunate. No amount of what you do or how you it, can account for that moment when you meet a suitable partner. All of that is in the Hands of God. 

That’s only the beginning

When people enter a long-term commitment, they’re only starting on the road of a real relationship. There is still a lot to discover, fight about, and make up for. It is truly rewarding walking the long road, but it will take flexibility, courage, and steadfastness. You cannot really turn back from a long-term commitment. You might exit the agreement, but you cannot ever really undo it. Therefore, try not to enter it irreverently and without due consideration. It’s not just a matter of how two people feel about each other. It’s also about how the parties will be able to get along in the long run. Hence, with that in mind, try to choose someone who has similar core values to you. For example, a believer in God should probably not marry an atheist. A person who is set on having children should probably not marry someone who doesn’t want children. A woman who wants to stay at home and raise kids, should probably not marry a man who doesn’t want to have to provide for her etc…