BE ETHICAL IN YOUR DEALINGS
In a society that is largely decent, crookedness and dishonesty may appear to get people far. However, if too many people are dishonest the entire society will collapse. We see this in many primitive societies across the world. Fortunately, many Western countries still hold to some semblance of honest dealings. It’s the one saving grace of the West despite all other immoral inclinations.
Earlier I mentioned that a man must have things he will not do no matter what. What are some of those things you should definitely not do if you want to be authentically male and good. There’s a fine line between being assertive, aggressive and tyrannical. It’s important to be assertive and take control when the situation calls for it, but it’s also important to allow others to exercise their agency within reason.
I’m afraid that what I am preaching as being part of masculinity might be wrongly perceived as encouraging misogyny or bolstering the tyrannical patriarchy. In asserting oneself as a man, especially within the relationships we have with our wives, we must acknowledge
that women have hopes, dreams, ambitions and goals that might have existed long before the relationship. In so far as the goals of the relationship and the care of children are not compromised, one must not discount the rest of what she has fancied for herself, whether or not you think it is significant. Every human-being, man and woman, has the right to self determination. When you have taken her on board and she has accepted your leadership, it is because she trusts that you will look after her best interests as well as yours. It’s important to make sure you do so. In all your dealings with people make sure you stick to the basic values I explain below.
The first value you should uphold is that you should practice being honest and not deceive people or yourself. Holding honesty as the highest value will ensure that you practice integrity with yourself and others and will improve your ability to judge wisely in your interactions with people. An extremely honest person usually knows when others are lying.
The second value you should uphold is to be fair at all times, even if it counts against you. Don’t unduly favour any person because of closeness or because they are relatives. Rather stand firm on principle and be fair. A society that doesn’t function on principle is a horrible society to be part of. The disenfranchised in those societies remain disenfranchised and it eventually leads to revolution and war. Do not be part of what is wrong in the world.
The third important value is that you always keep your promises. A man cannot be a man if he cannot stand by his word. If you always keep your promises people will begin to realise that you are reliable and trustworthy. In fact this quality alone will eventually make you a wealthy man if ever you had a business because honest dealings have become scarce.
The fourth important value is to be brave. Stand up for what you believe to be right. Stand up for yourself and stand up for others who are wronged. You cannot be a man in the world if you have nothing to fight for. The whole point of having a value system is to bring about order in the world. You cannot bring about order if you aren’t willing to stand by it.
The last important value is to be patient. Anything worth doing takes time. If you become impatient you will not hit the mark. You have to be prepared to wait and to keep trying when you are aiming to get somewhere with anything you do.
The principles above are positive principles. It talks about how you should be or what you should do. However, there are also cautionary principles we need to try to uphold as men:
Don’t be needy. A man should be self reliant and have an abundance attitude. You need certain things in your life, it doesn’t have to come from certain people, it can come from anyone who is willing to have reciprocal relationships with
you. If any one particular person isn’t able to honour the commitment of a relationship- because all relationships have certain levels of commitment- then you will find other people who can.
Don’t be resentful. Sure, in life people will do you wrong. Learn your lesson from it and move on. If you must bring them to justice, because their behaviour might harm countless people, then do so. However, don’t carry that person with you, they’re not worth it.
Don’t wrongfully assert yourself. There are times when you will need to assert yourself. For example, when rectifying a wrong or stopping a wrong you will need to assert yourself. However, there are other times when the best thing to do is allow things to unfold. For example, when a person is adamant about pursuing a course of action that you know will be harmful. That is the time to walk away. You can’t hold sway over anyone who hasn’t give you the right to do so.
Don’t mind other people’s business. As a man you are responsible only for the people who have given you the right to be responsible over them. You are not responsible for people that haven’t given you that right and for whom there is little you can actually do. Focus on yourself, your family and your friends. Those are people who actually value you and your opinion and might actually give you the time of day to influence their lives.
Don’t practice manipulation. Women are far superior in using manipulation than men are. If you wan’t advice on how to manipulate, get it from a woman. However, it is unmanly and against your male constitution to use manipulation to get what you want. It might work sometimes to manipulate but it will chip away at your masculinity over the long run. Men who pride themselves on manipulation become despicable over time.
These are very basic principles you can inculcate in your life to help you along your path. There are many other principles one could follow as founded in various religions. It is unmanly to look at another’s man wife sexually or to engage in flirtations with a married woman. It unmanly to pursue a woman through coercion and physical seduction. Men sometimes override a woman’s “No” because they know that her mind is saying “No” but her body is saying “Yes.” It’s unmanly to continue sex play when a woman says “No” because even if the seduction works, that woman may regret it later. It wasn’t a conscious and conscientious decision she has made. You should secure verbal consent from a woman before sleeping with her, and if you can have that consent in writing and witnessed by two people it would be even better for you. It gives the woman a chance to think about sex more deeply and to make a decision based on her reasoning and not merely on how she might feel in that moment when you have her in your embrace.
As a rule, always put the shoe on the other foot when you want to do something you are not sure is right. Would you like that other men flirt with your wife? So why would it be ok for you to do that? Would you like a man to seduce your daughter and then she regrets it later? So why would it be ok to seduce the daughters of other men. Relate your actions your own manly sentiments and see how it would affect other men specifically. That will help you navigate the world morally. The truth is we all know innately what’s wrong and right. We choose to ignore it because it might make life a bit inconvenient when confronted with something we really want. When you want to fuck a sexy woman for a few nights the furthest thing from your mind is how her father or husband might feel about it. Appeal to your conscience and let it guide it.
Live Your Life as a Man
This book is meant to help men live their lives authentically. There is a crisis of masculinity in the world and very few people out there have a balanced solution to the problem. This book attempts to give a balanced solution.
You can order the paper back version and have it mailed to you here.