TABLE OF CONTENTS
LIST OF BOOKS PUBLISHED
This book is meant to help men live their lives authentically. There is a crisis of masculinity in the world and very few people out there have a balanced solution to the problem. This book attempts to give a balanced solution. It’s a short read and is meant to be accessible to everyone. It is meant to be referred to often so that men can continuously remind themselves about what their priorities ought to be.
There are many books that are about the evils of polygyny. Why should a man have more than one wife? Isn’t it an oppression against women? The arguments against polygyny have been all but exhausted. There are also many pro-polygyny books that sets out to detail the many benefits of polygyny or that polygyny is in fact the natural mating system for human beings. Very little is written on the practical implications, applications and perils around polygyny. Having lived in polygyny for over seven years, I will try to accurately depict, not only my experience in polygyny but also the difficulties one can anticipate along with precautions one should take. If you are a woman or man considering embarking on polygyny then this book is must read for you. It is a hands-on practical guide to the challenges, solutions and considerations that you must be cognisant of before you embark on the wonderful and perilous journey that is polygyny.
Why would a man write a book about how a woman can find a long-term companion? What can a man possibly know about women? If that’s your first concern I will not invalidate it here. There’s a good chance you are right. What a man does know is other men. What do men want in a long-term partner? It is not that surprising that not very many women have asked themselves this critical question. Many women, in our time, often enter a relationship with themselves. It’s a critical question because having a relationship with a man does, incidentally, include the man. Meaning, there must be something he wants right? There must be something he needs? What is it?
The Terrorist Next Door is a fiction about Jack’s new neighbors who happen to be Moslems. In his attempt to be patriotic Jack finds out interesting things about his neighbors thinking that he would keep the homeland safe. However, in the process he finds himself conflicted between his stereotypes and his new found ‘friends.’ This motivates him to improve his own life and in the process becomes the man he never thought he could be. The Terrorist Next Door is the first in a series of books I intend on writing following along the same theme. It highlights the various cultural nuances amongst various people within the landscape of the postmodern world.
Polygyny isn’t for everyone. The first handbook I wrote was for people who were interested in practicing polygyny. It was called, ‘Polygyny Maybe?’ Some of my readers who bought my previous book, told me that I discouraged them from practicing polygyny and that they decided it was not for them. However, since I seemed to be suggesting that polygyny is the most natural mating system for human beings, was it at all possible to be truly monogamous? How would one best uphold the Christian marriage vows of “Until death do us part?” This book is an attempt to answer that question. I will look at the importance of raising good children who will be capable of monogamy and how best to choose a suitable monogamous mate. Finally, I will teach you how to stay faithful within your monogamous marriage.
I cannot give you a rule book on monogamous marriage without first clarifying why monogamy is difficult for many people. Hence, some of what I state in this book is a restatement of some of the content in my previous book. I still maintain that polygyny is the more natural mating system but I am able to acknowledge that in many ways monogamy would be more optimal for many people because it is cheaper and facilitates the increased presence of both parents. It also frees up the man to engage in more personal ambitions when he is financially stable because less of his time will be invested in women and children. On the other hand, it requires women to be more present with their husbands who will not have their social and physical needs met by any other women. However, the temptation to stray from a marriage is greater in monogamy than in polygyny, and the only way to survive the relationship with integrity is to guard oneself appropriately.
Men tend to stray from their marriages simply because they find women of interest around them who have availed themselves. Monogamy was protected and is protected in societies where women do not easily avail themselves to men. It is not ordinarily the case that men say no to sex when offered it. In societies where women do not offer men sex that they are not married to, it would require men to actively pursue women in order to secure it. Pursuing women while married is a difficult prospect when it will require a lot of time and effort. In that sense, monogamy is part of a broader community enterprise in which other women keep the men of the society chaste. Men do not ordinarily remain chaste by themselves. There are men who, in rare instances, are morally convicted and will refuse sex from a beautiful woman. Most men won’t.
Women tend to stray from monogamy because it becomes monotonous and boring in the long run. Women enjoy competing with other women for the highest value man. When her man is off the market he will no longer present himself as a person of interest to other women. Since other women are not expressing overt interest in her husband, she begins to view him as being a man of lower value. This triggers her instinct to seek out the highest value man, whom she will swiftly leave her husband for when presented with the opportunity to do so. Human beings have a propensity to crave excitement and even danger while at the same time working hard to be safe and secure. Often the monogamous man builds a perfect nest and creates a stable life for a woman only to lose her to a man who is dangerous and who, as a result, makes her feel alive. Polygyny solves that problem because a polygynous man is always someone of interest to many women. Those women who crave the husband of another woman help validate for that woman that she made the best possible choice when she married him. However, there are other ways to get that validation that does not include the prospect of polygyny. I will explore some of those important strategies men in monogamy should use to keep their wives from straying. I will also share strategies women can use to keep their husbands from straying, along with what each individual can do to stay loyal within the marriage.