In almost all cultures and religions we have a concept of marriage. Marriage is a universal concept, and yet it has become universally tough for people to get married. In this short blog I will explore why marriage has become tough and what we can do to help people get married.
The way we judge economic standing as a species is by looking at what is ‘normal’ for those around us. In other words, there is an unending race to the top. Every strata of society aims to be better than it currently is and expectations naturally shift. To put plainly, marriage has become more expensive as people have greater expectations as the standards of living increase. There are also cultural shifts that are at variances with itself! For example, the surplus of labour due to the expectation that women will also work, has decreased the value of labour resulting in decreased wages. At the same time, it is still largely expected that men within a marriage must be providers when the value of male labour isn’t higher than the value of female labour. The increased expectations regarding lifestyle, along with the decrease in the price of labour has been catastrophic for marriage as an institution and for society in general.
It has become widely accepted that women tend to mate across and up the socio-economic hierarchy. As an example, women who are school teachers do not typically aim to marry men who are street sweepers. With 50% of jobs allocated to women, we end up with a unique conflict between human nature and economics. Let’s assume that there are 100 people on earth: 50 men and 50 women. There are only 50 jobs available. Who gets the jobs? Well in the past we’d say, “the men of course, because they must provide.” That would mean the otherwise broke women would rely on men, and therefore look up to all men, and likely each and every man, with some exceptions, might be chosen as a mate. In other words, women needed men for procreation and for maintenance.
Fast-forward to the 21st century and out of 100 people, 25 women and 25 men have jobs. How does that pan out? Well, the 25 men who have the jobs tend to mostly marry from amongst the 25 women who don’t have jobs, while keeping mistresses from the 25 women who do have jobs because employed women never marry the men who are unemployed and or who have lesser jobs than they do. In fact, the highest earners have the most women, the middle earners are lucky to find one woman, and the bottom half of the men are preselected for biological extension- their bloodlines will not continue. In other words, an economic system can only favour one mating model at a time, but not all. In the current system it favours promiscuity and not marriage.
What’s the Fix?
You can’t undo the way the economy works. If women want to work, they should. Some people, like Andrew Tate, might say that the best thing a man can do is to become high value. Sure, but that fixes things for individual high value men. Not everyone can be at the top, because then it will no longer be the top. The actual fix can come from high value men themselves. While we all know they can sleep with any amount of women, they should in fact limit themselves to loyal long-term relationships with any number of women they can manage to do that with. What does that mean in principle? It means that these men will no longer sleep with hundreds or thousands of women, but with a limited number of women that would remain with them long-term- probably two to ten. What does that mean for the rest of women? They would have to have their sexual interests met with other men. In so doing, there is a better chance that more people would actually get married as the market for the lesser men would now be more lucrative. Provided of course, it’s a long-term relationship market and not a one night stand market. In other words, the fix will come when men have standards. When they choose the wife over the whore. If I were to say that women are the problem, I would have delegated the power men have to women. I will never do that! You cannot want to sleep around and then also complain that women are no longer marriage material. When you stop sleeping around as a collective, then most women will be marriage material because they won’t have another choice.