Listen to us live on Spaces discuss:
How to Get and Keep a Man
It was 3 am in the morning. Stumbling home from the club through the back door, Salma tried to sneak into her house. Her Mum sat quietly in the dark kitchen. As soon as the light went on, Salma almost fell over from the shock of seeing her mother just sitting there. “Where have you been?” Salma tried to focus. “Not now, Mum, I need to shower.” She replied sharply, “If not now, then when? This has got to stop!”
At 21 years old, life just happens. The middle-class average young woman at a university studying for a Bachelor of Arts in Gender Studies or some other communist or socialist theory that aims to make all people equal struggles to find meaning in life. Salma is the product of her time, her generation, and the dominant discourse. She has the two greatest assets any woman can have: youth and beauty. It would be a shame if she didn’t enjoy her life as much as she can right now! Freedom isn’t just an idea; it’s a way of life. Her professor Sadia always tells her that a woman’s greatest agency is to be able to do what’s best for her, free of coercion, tradition, and patriarchy. That’s what she was doing. Living her life. What’s wrong with that?
Sitting on the shower floor, Salma tries hard to wash off the dirt that seems to be lodged in her conscience. Her father would have been disappointed in her. That weighs heavily on her as she sits there wondering what life would have been like if he were still alive. After a few minutes, she brushes those thoughts off: “That’s just patriarchy speaking. My father was nothing more than a tyrant.” Feeling only half clean, Salma steps out of the shower. She hears the call to prayer and feels a sense of discomfort. Half of her wants to pray because that’s how she was raised, and the other half of her feels that she must rebel against patriarchal religion. She goes to her room, sits on her bed, but feels guilty and decides to pray nevertheless. She can continue to fight the existential battle raging within her after she wakes up. For now, God still matters to her.
Back at university, Salma listens to Professor Sadia in the lecture on “Gender and Women’s Agency.” She sits with her notepad and diligently takes notes, hanging on to every word. “If you don’t decide your own fate, it will be decided for you. You will end up being a housewife with a bunch of kids under the authority of a man…” The room erupts in approval until one young man raises his hand. “What’s wrong with that professor?” Silence fills the room like it would fill a church upon uttering blasphemy. In the religion of feminism, such blasphemy is similar to a Christian asking why the Bible never says Jesus is God. The professor, visibly angry, finally gains her composure and proceeds to explain, “It is wrong because a woman should not have to be under the authority of a man.” The composure of the room changes after that. Everyone seems to feel relaxed again. The young man then responds pointedly and in a matter-of-fact manner, “Yet, you are now under the authority of men, whether you like it or not.” The professor smiled. “Can you elaborate?”
The young man proceeded, “Your dean of this faculty is a man, as is the president of the university. The counsellor in your area is a man, as is the mayor, as is the president. The people who do your property maintenance are men; the ones who built the roads, your cars, your houses, and who maintain your power grid, your water supply, your food supply, and who manufacture the sanitary towels you wear every month, ALL MEN. The way I see it is that the only men whose authority you have a problem with are your husbands, brothers, and fathers. If you ask me, that’s an attack on the men of your family. No woman here who goes on to work in corporate will have a problem obeying her male boss at work.”
The professor interrupted, “Maybe what you are describing is the problem. Why are all these positions occupied by men and not women? That is the very problem this class is addressing. Thank you for highlighting that.” The young man decided it was prudent to keep quiet. He did, after all, need to pass the class. He left the lecture hall quietly and proceeded to grab some lunch in the cafeteria. While sipping on his coffee and eating his beef sandwich, a woman in her thirties asked if she could sit down at the same table. He smiled and said, “Sure, of course you can.” She introduced herself. “I’m Beth.” He was surprised that she was talking to him, so he awkwardly replied, “Good to know. I’m Jason.” She continued, “You’re right, you know.” Noticing that he was puzzled, she added, “About what you said back there in our class.” He laughed, “Oh, you are also taking that class.” She smiled, “Unfortunately, I needed an elective module, and that was the only one available. I’m forced to take it.”
Beth continued, “I’ve been married, and I’m divorced now. I used to believe in every single thing Professor Sadia stands for, but I just wanted you to know that you’re right and she’s wrong. It doesn’t work. A man will not want to commit to a woman when it means he will have to negotiate the outcome of his entire life for the rest of his life with her because she won’t follow his lead. Feminism is a war on the family, and it is a war on men. We, as women, aren’t better off now because we have more money and we can make all our own decisions. We are worse off because men won’t marry us anymore.” Jason listened intently and then replied, “I haven’t thought about how this affects marriage, but I do think you’re onto something.”
The mistake women make is that they do not want to accept the consequences of their decisions but want the right to decide. If you embark on a life of promiscuity, of gender justice, and freedom to exercise your agency in whichever way you want, then you must accept the outcomes of how you exercise that agency. Whereas, if you embark on a life of chastity and marriage, and you use your youth and beauty to secure a husband, then you will have to give up some of your agency. In giving up some of your agency to a man, you CAN blame the man to some extent for the outcome. If you acknowledge the man’s authority, then you can hold him accountable, but if you don’t, then you can’t. The feminist essentially wants it both ways; she wants to exercise her autonomy, live in whichever way she wants, do whatever she wants, sleep around as much as she wants, and then blame men for the results. If you want results with men, it would be important to hear what men have to say about what THEY WANT. The greatest problem is that feminists do not acknowledge the right of men to want anything at all.
Salma could live her life as a wife and a mother, and have a home and a family. Instead, now she lives her life as an irresponsible adult attending toxic classes at a university alongside people who are actively fighting against the one thing most decent women intrinsically want: a home and a family provided by A MAN.
GET YOUR FREE EBOOK BELOW
A Guide on How to Get and Keep a Man Free eBook
I want a man who will love me, cherish me, honour me, and most importantly… I want a man who will commit. I want a man who will look after me, protect me, help me, and sometimes spoil me. I want a man who won’t cheat on me and who I can grow old with. That’s the man I want. That’s the man I don’t think I can get.
What You’ll Discover Inside
Using a compelling fictional story of “Linda” — a smart, attractive, career-driven woman who keeps ending up alone despite sleeping with plenty of men — the book illustrates exactly why so many good women stay single or end up heartbroken.Then comes the meat: the 7 Key Qualities high-value men actually look for in a wife they want to keep forever. These aren’t the fluffy magazine lists. These are what real men respect, desire, and commit to:
- Chaste – Why low body count (or virginity) dramatically increases your value and ability to pair-bond deeply.
- Feminine – How to be agreeable, soft, and supportive so he feels like the leader (exactly what strong men crave).
- Pleasant – Mastering the art of long-term seduction and never becoming complacent once he commits.
- Responsible – No more entitlement. How to pull your weight and make him feel the relationship is a true team.
- Sexy – How to be enthusiastically available and satisfying in private (without the Madonna-Whore trap).
- Supportive – Becoming his biggest cheerleader instead of his critic so he never wants to leave.
- Grateful – Ditching impossible checklists and appreciating the man who chooses you, making him feel like a king.
