Marriage itself doesn’t exist in a vacuum. A husband isn’t just a man who is married to a woman. A husband is an agent of order, law, and governance for his wives and children. He must make sure there is compliance on the part of his flock as mandated by God. The hierarchy of marriage consists of the man as the family head. The woman is the keeper of his house and children. This falls within a bigger hierarchy. God is the head of the Church, which is the earliest version of the State in Western society.
How to Choose and Keep a Wife: A Practical Guide for Men (eBook)
How to Choose and Keep a Wife is a much needed and in demand marriage guide for men in a time when marriages are just not working. This book doesn’t aim to fix the problems of women, or the problems with society. Rather, this book gives men a step by step guide on how to properly vet a woman for marriage. It also gives men clear guidance on how to manage being married and staying married. While some might see this book as idealistic, there is something in it for everyone. It tackles the issues of marriage both from an idealistic and pragmatic approach. On the one hand, the author sets forth an ideal but also acknowledges the real likelihood that the ideal will not be accomplished and gives practical advice on how to manoeuvre in less idealistic circumstances. Even though the target audience for this book is single men or men who are married and are having a hard time, it would prove useful for women who are looking at being good wives.
God is the Head of Man
In turn, the Church is the head of the man, and the man is to minister to his family. In Islamic terms, it is no different. The famous Muslim saying is that a man is the Sultan of his family. A husband is the container for his wives and children. He sets the boundaries that will secure their well-being. He enforces the law of God within his home and his immediate society. His key obligation isn’t to his family, but to the law of God and its perpetuation in society. Marriage is merely a plugin to that broader and more important objective.
Limit Women in Society
The first layer of protection for society is to limit the actions of women and children. They naturally struggle to understand that actions have far-reaching consequences in most instances. That is why in many religious traditions it is seen that a woman who disobeys her husband has disobeyed God. That doesn’t in any way imply that her husband is God or part of the Godhead. It indicates a natural hierarchy in patriarchal religions such as Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
Men are not subjected to their emotions as much as women are. They are supposed to have a greater ability to comprehend God’s laws. Additionally, men have a greater propensity to enforce those laws. A husband’s first loyalty is to God and then to the State. This doesn’t necessarily imply that the State is a religious state. It means that men have the duty to uphold the law of the country because it helps maintain order. They must also uphold the laws of God, which maintain order within their families. Through the father, children learn compliance and obedience. No society can function without obedience to the law. The first unit that teaches that obedience is the family in which the father is the representative of the law.
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Single Mothers Create Problems for Society
We have witnessed that most criminally minded men and promiscuous women are raised by single mothers. That’s because the representative of the law was not present in the lives of those children. This role is imbued with rationality, order, and an understanding of hierarchy. Children lack discipline. They are unable to obey the law when they grow up with fathers who submit to their wives. Such fathers allow the chaos of the female imperative to rule their homes. In that case, the man isn’t a husband but a toy boy. His presence is, in fact, more detrimental to his family than his absence.
When a man’s family is compliant with the law of God, he must provide for them. He is also obligated to protect them. His first duty is to God. When his family is disobedient to God, he will have no obligation towards them. They receive only what is generally due to all human beings. His wives are to be treated as women who are not his. His children are to be treated as other children.
Disobedience to the law of God should not be tolerated in any way. A State does not tolerate disobedience to its law. When people steal, they get punished. When people commit murder, they get punished. In the same way, when a woman disobeys her husband, she must be punished. This is because God ordered women to obey their husbands.
A Husband isn’t for Amusement
A husband isn’t a plaything, or there for the amusement of his wife. He is the representative of God’s law, the heavenly order, the Prophets, and the scriptures. If he isn’t that and we are talking about secularism, then at the very least, he should raise a family. This family should be able to obey the secular laws of the State. His family shouldn’t end up in jail.
A Man Is Responsible for Society, not ONLY HIS WIFE.
A husband must be committed to the better functioning of society and the State. He must enforce compliance with law and order. He must provide for his compliant family and protect them from harm. He must ensure they can survive in his absence. He must also ensure the values he believes in will be perpetuated through his children.
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Men carry the burden and responsibility of society. Therefore, it is important for you to be capable and knowledgeable. Be committed to your value system and upright before you get married. Again, this is marriage under patriarchal norms which is the system of Abraham.
DON’T GET MARRIED IF YOU’RE NOT READY FOR IT.
Marriage under other norms might look very different, but that isn’t the purpose of this book. Before you consider getting married, first assess yourself and your ability to lead, protect, and provide for a family. If you find that you are able to do that, it is worth your while considering marriage. If you realize you cannot do that, it is wiser to be patient. Wait until you have the means to marry.
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Having the means here does not only refer to your financial position. No amount of money will make you into a good husband. Having the means to marry also refers to richness in character. It includes the ability to take charge when you are called on to do so. It refers to having the conviction you need. You must steer your ship to safety before you can realistically take people on board. You must have the tenacity to work hard, to keep going, to forge ahead, and to never give up. You need to be a MAN.