Become the best version of yourself
Is marriage a one size fits all? Must it be that a man provides for a woman who is the homemaker? Or can marriage assume various formats? Must it be monogamous, or can it also be polygynous or polyamorous? At which point is it no longer considered marriage? In this essay I will deconstruct the […]
Written by coachdebruyns A real Christian and Muslim can only marry women from patriarchy as wives becuase it is ordinarily a requirement for a virgin woman to be given in marriage by her male guardian who is typically her father or grandfather. The idea that a woman is “given away” shows that marriage is a patriarchal institution. On […]
Written by coachdebruyns This is a question as a relationship coach I get often. As a polygynous man, I personally experienced women cheating mainly because those women didn’t understand polygyny. They felt, that since I had multiple wives, they can have multiple husbands but of course hid the fact that they were pursuing their options. In an ideal […]
Written by coachdebruyns In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious Most Merciful The Praise belongs to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. It is He who created us in truth, so that we might identify the truth through His guidance sent with His Prophets and Messengers, the last of which was Muhammad the son of Abdullah (God’s peace […]
Written by coachdebruyns There are predefined gender roles within Islam such that men are exclusively identified as men and not to be confused with women, and women are exclusively identified as women and not be confused with men. In the modern world there has been a wealth of confusion regarding gender roles, attitudes and behaviors to the extent […]
Written by coachdebruyns A wife of mine once went to a place I didn’t approve of her going. It wasn’t a bad place, but I had specifically asked her that day not to go there. However, she felt that she was in a predicament because she already promised the owner of the place that she’d come. Later in […]
Written by coachdebruyns Wishing all my Muslim readers a Ramadan Mubarak. May Allah grant you all an elevated position in nearness to Him and accept from all of you your acts of worship during and after this holy month. Fasting is an exercise of worship that resets the body, mind and spirit to a base level so that […]
Written by coachdebruyns There are instances in which a previously married woman would be more ideal to marry in a monogamous marriage. It is especially true in a culture where promiscuity is rampant. At the very least, a woman who was married for a long time likely wasn’t sleeping around and has already shown that her interest is […]
Written by coachdebruyns Taking the Shahada (Testifying that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad (s) is His Messenger) begets obligations and prohibitions to complete your statement through the beautification of your actions and the straightening out of your life. The first obligation that falls upon a person who claims belief is the 5 daily prayers and […]
Written by coachdebruyns In ancient and modern times there always exist a category of woman that was labelled a concubine. In different cultures they had different words for it, but it essentially amounted to the same thing: a lesser wife. In the various studies done in the field of cultural anthropology it is documented that people throughout Africa, […]
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